The holidays are upon us! Maybe that is a happy time, with lovely gatherings, meals, parties and joy. But maybe it means tension, anxiety, depression, even dread. Holidays often mean family gatherings, traditions you may or may not like, encounters with relatives you\u2019re not interested in seeing, expensive travel, a sense of obligation to buy gifts, spend money you\u2019d rather not, maybe even enduring events that feel atrocious.<\/p>\n
How do you manage all of this \u2013 and still have a smile? Here are some keys you can use right away:<\/p>\n
One – be honest with yourself and don\u2019t blame or shame yourself for any of your feelings. Whatever you are feeling is grounded in some experience from your history that is causing the negative or positive reaction. Many families experience friction and fragmentation as children grow into adults, older adults grow less adaptable or tolerant, or people change and grow apart. It can feel very sad to experience a transition from what you remember in your youth to what presents itself as your family in your adulthood. Be compassionate and loving with yourself. Accept your feelings as your authentic experience. Your feelings do not have to make sense to anyone but you.<\/p>\n
Two \u2013 Be like an investigative reporter before you commit to something. Find out who is coming to the gathering, where, when and how it is happening. Assess for your own happiness how much exposure you can handle at a time. It is perfectly all right for you to have limits for how much you can handle or want to try to.<\/p>\n
Three\u2013 Say Yes when you mean it, and No when you need to.\u00a0 Don\u2019t agree to stay at an event for hours if you know you will only be able to be pleasant for and hour or two \u2013 even half and hour! Make it a drop-by for a brief appearance if you know you can\u2019t handle more. For whatever the reasons are that you will not feel happy or comfortable, you do not have to endure encounters that make you miserable.<\/p>\n
Fourth \u2013 Set reasonable limits for yourself on how much you do, how much you spend, how much you eat, with whom you spend time. This is your life, your time, your happiness. Only you can know what are the ingredients that will add up to a more pleasant, even happier, memorable holiday season.<\/p>\n
Five \u2013 Make your own \u201cfamily.\u201d If you don\u2019t have the family you wish you had to spend holidays with, seek out others who are also on their own. Plan your own holiday celebration with your favorite foods, decorations, activities, and invite others whose company you enjoy. You are absolutely not the only one who isn\u2019t going to be with a picture perfect family for the holidays.<\/p>\n
Six \u2013 Give of yourself to others in need. The best way out of your own troubles or sorrow is to be of service to others. Give of yourself to others. Find local churches, shelters and community organizations that feed the hungry, clothe the homeless, gift children. It is remarkable to feel how meaningful your attention and energy can be to someone who has far less.<\/p>\n
Seven \u2013 Practice gratitude. Find anything and everything in your life you have to be grateful for: health, friends, work, hobbies, finances, location, significant other, the Sun and the Moon, your own determination. Start your day with a list \u201cToday I am grateful for\u201d and find five things \u2013 no matter how big or small.\u00a0 What you see becomes more of what you see. When you find things to feel grateful for, more things will come into your life for which you will feel truly grateful!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Holidays often mean family gatherings, traditions you may or may not like, encounters with relatives you\u2019re not interested in seeing, expensive travel, a sense of obligation to buy gifts, spend money you\u2019d rather not, maybe even enduring events that feel atrocious.How do you manage all of this \u2013 and still have a smile? Here are some keys you can use right away!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1242,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,33,34,35],"tags":[43,44,49,58,60,63,64,72,73,76,81,90,97,98,100,104,105],"class_list":["post-899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-behavior-change","category-inspiration","category-motivation","category-relationship-help","tag-anger-management","tag-anxiety","tag-boundaries","tag-compassion","tag-coping","tag-depression","tag-family","tag-gratitude","tag-happiness","tag-holidays","tag-joy","tag-parties","tag-relatives","tag-sadness","tag-self-acceptance","tag-stress","tag-stress-management"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kathryntull.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kathryntull.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kathryntull.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kathryntull.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kathryntull.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=899"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/kathryntull.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/899\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1261,"href":"https:\/\/kathryntull.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/899\/revisions\/1261"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kathryntull.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1242"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kathryntull.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kathryntull.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kathryntull.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}